Please accept my apology for not keeping on schedule with this series. The last entry identified and defined specific motivators for starting new relationships. This month I'd like to discuss the force behind each one and how to view them from a healthy perspective.

The first motivator discussed was rebounding. A person who rebounds does not allow enough time to heal from the last relationship. He wrongly uses a relationship to get over another. The best thing for that person to do is to form casual, platonic relationships. He should examine his feelings and allow the hurt to heal before moving into another intimate tryst. This way he will heal and will be able to become involved in a meaningful relationship sooner. A big plus to doing this is that he will not inflict pain upon another soul, either.

Discontentment makes rich men poor while contentment makes poor men rich.

Anonymous

A person who harbors bad feelings after a relationship ends may stoop to revenge. Vengeful thoughts are cancerous and can eventually deteriorate one's health. It produces stress and anxiety, and we all know that stress is a precursor to hypertension and cardiac disease. Oftentimes, a person acts out on her desire for revenge, causing property and/or physical damage to her victim. Sometimes the victim is not the ex-, but rather the next person she becomes involved with. A person must be able to forgive and let go of toxic feelings. Whenever a person holds on to the aura of a failed relationship, she's assigning importance and power to the person she broke up with. If another person has power over her, then she's lost control over herself. She needs to find an outlet for her feelings. There are quite a few ways  to do this. Turning to one's religion is one of the most satisfying ways to deal with loss and grief. Spending time with friends is another. 

For the person who feels that he must always be connected to someone will get into a new relationship before the ink has dried from the old one. He doesn't allow himself to be selective. Because of his quickness to have security, love, and closeness that a relationship should bring, he usually doesn't get any of those things. It's not a bad thing to take a little time off after a relationship ends. Give yourself some time with yourself. Become in tuned to your feelings. Pamper yourself. Allow yourself to become strong. Be complete within yourself. 

Once you find happiness within yourself, you'll be ready to share it with someone else. Let that be your reason for wanting to become involved with another. Remember, no one can make you a whole person accept yourself.